(Det Autoriserede Danske Samleje og andre Nærkampe) The title of the book is the same as that of the prizewinning feature article that gave Bente Clod the second prize in the feature article competition by Politiken, 1975.
… Who said that men can take their orgasm for granted? While it is true that it is harder for women to come than for men, men too are strangely insecure and uncertain to succeed. The constant impression appearing towards the end of an intercourse goes something like this: Two people listening carefully whether he is about to come …The Authorized Danish Version, p. 56-57
… He tries in one way and then another, he moans and holds his breath. Am I tiring her, why am I not coming, I wonder if she is still with me, I’d like to rest for a moment but then I might completely lose it, ah, now – …
… Then he comes. Pulls a face, shivers all over like a shell that has been wrung of its innermost secret. Feels how he finally gives up the sperm, so difficult to pass on, feels how he sinks back into place, to the girl and the Now. Lies down gently: Are you feeling alright? He whispers to me.
If I were to answer that I am not feeling all that good, that actually there wasn’t that much in it for me, I will fill him with steady, tenacious complexes, that we might continue to battle for the rest of our relationship. If I don’t give a direct reply I leave him with insecurity. If I suggest to him to make me climax in some other way, I know that it will happen with an utterly clear head, without any excitement and with the same sense of abandonment that I felt during his ejaculation. The reason that I am now whisperingYeah,is that I actually don’t think the orgasm is that important right now. The important thing is the affinity, being close together, holding each other. The talk we have before or after, the joy and reciprocity we experience. That matters. A wimpy attitude, some of my fellow sisters might say. Demand your orgasm, you have the right!
Demand. Right. The thing about arousal is that it cannot be controlled. Our frightened men cannot be pushed into providing us with orgasms …
The first book was a success, printed in second edition and translated into Norwegian. The author became a regular commentator in several Nordic newspapers and women’s magazines. The Authorized Danish Version turned into a common concept in the debate on gender roles the following years, when it came to sex life.